Sturm: Wisdom gained after debating a Pronoun Policy as a theater company board member

By Melanie Sturm | Commentary, Substack

What would you do if the state called you an unfit parent — not for hurting your child, but for refusing to pretend your daughter is your son?

That’s the reality Colorado families could soon face under a bill advancing in the state legislature. And in Maryland, the Supreme Court is now weighing whether parents have any say at all over LGBTQ content taught in elementary school.

Policies once dismissed as fringe are ubiquitous. Silence shouldn’t become complicity.

Two summers ago, I saw where this leads — not while in a courtroom, but around a boardroom table.

I’d served on the board of a beloved theater company for over two decades. Then one day, a concerned parent forwarded me the children’s program Pronoun Policy, which required kids as young as five to introduce themselves by both name and pronoun. If a child didn’t volunteer a pronoun, that child would be labeled “they.”

I was mystified. At a board meeting weeks earlier, we’d agreed that teaching gender ideology was not the theater’s role. If a child had special considerations — disability, learning difference, or gender concern — staff would address it privately, in consultation with the family.

It turns out, the Pronoun Policy had been in place for over a year.

How I used my voice to change this policy – and why you should be willing to do the same – is what this post is about.

Because now, as I watch headlines mount….

…I realize the concerns I raised back then – once considered fringe – are now front-page news.

And given my back-story, I often think, there but for the grace of God go I.

I was a tomboy who dreamed of being a businessman in a suit with a briefcase. If I were a child today, I might have believed what exploding numbers of girls now do — that I was “born in the wrong body.” A well-meaning teacher might have celebrated me for “coming out,” and ushered me onto a path that would have robbed me of my husband, my motherhood, and the life I now cherish.

But I was allowed to grow up, and that’s what I want for every child.

Realizing that goal requires more of us to speak up — not to win arguments, but to win people. It means asking questions, telling stories, and helping others discover the common ground they instinctively share — even if they don’t yet realize it.

But how do you summon the courage and composure to speak when facing hostility? How do you work with silent allies too intimidated to join you?

READ THE FULL STORY AT MELANIE STURM’S THINK AGAIN SUBSTACK

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