What our fathers taught us

Compiled by Jen Schumann | Rocky Mountain Voice

We put a single question to some of the writers you read here: what’s the best thing your father taught you, or the thing you didn’t understand until much later? 

Nobody sent us a speech. They sent us a memory. Some are about work. Some are about faith, or grit, or a sentence a man said once and never repeated. Much of what these dads handed down came through more than instruction. Your father taught you most in ways he probably didn’t plan. Most of us figure that out later.

Here are their words, on Father’s Day.

My father was part of “the greatest generation,” a WWII veteran. After the war he was a traveling salesman for the Quaker Oats company for 30 years or so. He taught me the importance of being there. Whenever my dad was not on the road, he was on the sideline cheering my basketball, baseball and football games. I’m forever thankful he dragged me to the golf course on Saturdays to “caddy” for him. He probably paid me a dollar, but I learned golf etiquette and how to golf because of him. I think, I hope, I was there for my son and daughter in their growing years. Thanks dad!

— Mark Salley, Arvada

My Dad gave me something I didn’t fully comprehend until my adult life as a parent. Having fun with family matters. We took long driving trips around the country with my four brothers and me in the car and would often go on weekend camping trips. These getaways were always a wonderful time of hanging out together. Now I realize how hard those trips were to pull off with multiple children. It took so much work to get ready and accomplish these outings, but I so appreciated all of the effort and love that went into them. I love you Dad.

— Colleen Enos, Christian Home Educators of Colorado

My father and I were never the classic father-son story. He was often more of a friend and surfing buddy than a teacher of life lessons. Yet one piece of advice he gave me has echoed through every season of my life: “Put your full 20 years in with the military — you won’t regret it.” I listened, and today I can see how that single sentence helped provide stability, opportunities and security for my family, especially during difficult seasons. Sometimes the greatest gift a father gives isn’t a lifetime of speeches; it’s one piece of wisdom that proves true over time. Thanks, Dad, for the great advice!

— Drake Hunter, Rocky Mountain Voice ambassador

My dad was a doctor and gave me a dissecting kit when I was eight. He started me butterfly collecting and that got me in love with Nature. We had eleven kids in the family and used to trap chipmunks that snuck into my gram’s cabin and skin them with the idea of making a buckskin shirt. I can field dress a deer in about ten minutes and save the kidneys, heart, liver and belly fat. He boxed Golden Gloves at Creighton and taught me to stand up for myself and how to catch a football without breaking your fingers. He’d sing Louis Armstrong’s song “When we’re dancing and you’re dangerously near me,” to my mom when he got home from work, which explains the eleven kids.

— Tom Anthony, Denver

My father gave me my sense of humor, which every conservative politician needs for survival! He was my greatest supporter who expected excellence from me. I was accepted to the US Coast Guard Academy and turned it down. Which broke his heart. Of the hundreds of running events I ran in high school, he only missed one — my freshman year, the first time I broke the five-minute mile. I miss him dearly.

— Russ Minary, Douglas County

Dave W. Craig with his wife and three of his oldest children—John, Sandy and Lewis—around 1944. Photos: Shirley Bauer.

When I think of my Dad, Dave W. Craig, I think of him as my hero. During his 93 years of life, he had to overcome many hardships, and did so with a work ethic, strength and determination that taught me what resilience truly looks like. He was drafted at age 30 during World War II — with a wife and 3 children at home — and served in the Army as a PFC and medic. Four more children came along after the war for a total of 7, with me being the middle child. Early in his marriage he worked on oil rigs, then later for Union Carbide until he retired. He loved farming and in spite of setbacks, kept at it. It wasn’t until I was an adult, and watched him recover from terrible burns from a camper fire, that I truly appreciated how very tough and resilient he really was.

There are so many valuable lessons he taught me, but the one that stands out is from a time I was struggling with an issue and couldn’t get past it. He said, “You know, when your thinkin’ gets to stinkin’, you should change your stinkin’ thinkin’.” I can’t remember the issue, but sure remember his advice, which still guides me today. I miss him very much, but especially this Father’s Day.

— Shirley Bauer, Cedaredge

The greatest gift my father gave me was his choice. My biological father abandoned me before I was born, which means the man I call Dad had no obligation to raise me, teach me or claim me as his own. Yet he did. As a new father myself, holding my eight-week-old daughter and contemplating the weight of that responsibility, I have come to appreciate what I could not fully understand as a child: love is most meaningful when it is chosen. My father’s example taught me that true fatherhood is not measured by blood, but by sacrifice, presence and a steadfast commitment to the people entrusted to your care.

— C.J. Garbo, former Colorado resident