Gotlieb: You know you’re from Colorado when… 

By / / Rocky Mountain Voice, Commentary, Top Stories

By Dorothy Gotlieb | Guest Commentary, Rocky Mountain Voice

Former legislator and longtime Denver public servant Dorothy Gotlieb has compiled this list of Colorado quirks and cultural touchstones. You might laugh, nod in agreement – or want to add your own.

Over the years, there have been several versions of a “You Know You’re from Colorado When…” list. The following is just one of the latest. 

Everyday observations

  • You ask someone you meet, “Where are you from?”
  • You recognize FIVE seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter – and Construction!
  • Your side of the street looks like a winter wonderland, but there’s no snow on the other side of the street.
  • You are pretty sure that you have seen a bank, a carwash, and/or a dispensary on every block.
  • You know that “Mile High” and “High Country” have two meanings.
  • You are sitting at a red light with your windows open, and smell marijuana coming from the next car over.
  • Your favorite restaurant and/or your favorite store is closing/has closed.
  • You are charged for a plastic grocery bag, but know that almost everything in the store is wrapped in plastic.
  • You are asked to recycle, but know that when there are too many “recyclables,” they wind up in a landfill.
  • You think that the Colorado Legislature passes laws that only Californians will love.
  • Colorado legislators pass gun control bills, but you know that guns can be made on 3-D printers – or stolen.
  • You’ve watched projects to fix up I-70 and the 16th Street Mall take years to complete, but know that China built a very large bridge in 43 hours and a 57-story skyscraper in 19 days!
  • You know that installing a traffic-light camera costs up to $150,000, but no one is fixing potholes!
  • You are at a stoplight surrounded by 5 cars with out-of-state license plates.
  • You are at a stoplight and the car in front of you has an out-of-date paper license.
  • You are seeing fewer and fewer “Pioneer” license plates.
  • You wait an extra 10 seconds after a light turns green, just to make sure that a driver from the cross street isn’t trying to beat their red light.
  • You notice that, for many drivers, a stop sign appears to be a suggestion, not a law.

Driving in Colorado

  • You try to stay off I-25 during rush hour.
  • It doesn’t surprise you when a driver in the left lane cuts across 3 lanes of traffic in front of you to make a right turn – and has an out-of-state (TX, CA) license plate.
  • You find out that many drivers have no clue how to drive in snow.
  • Someone gives you directions and doesn’t say go “left” or “right,” but says “Go toward the mountains.”
  • Most of the cars you see are dirty or muddy.
  • You notice how many cars are equipped with ski racks.
  • You used to see lots of Volvos, then Subarus, and now Teslas (except for those who have turned in their Tesla, due to a shift in politics).
  • You park your car outside your residence, or at the airport, or run inside for a second to get something you forgot, and it is stolen – especially if it is a Chevy Silverado, Hyundai Elantra/Sonata, GMC Sierra, Ford F-250/150, Kia Optima/Soul/Sportage, or a Honda Civic.

Outdoors, altitude & culture

  • You’ve been skiing/snowboarding, hiking, rock-climbing, white-water rafting, camping, fishing, etc.
  • You know that golf balls go further here than at lower altitudes.
  • You know what “14-ers” are, and what “5280” means, and where “Four Corners” is.
  • You don’t call them Breckenridge or Copper Mountain or Arapahoe Basin; you call them “Breck,” “Copper,” or “A-Basin” – and you know what “The Tunnel” is.
  • You know that the 2-hour drive to the mountains may take 4 hours – and the same for the drive back…
  • You know where the Frozen Dead Guy is.
  • You know what the “People’s Republic of Boulder” means.
  • You know which city is known as “the Sweetheart City,” and that they hand stamp letters for Valentine’s Day.
  • You know where peaches (Palisade), onions (Olathe), and potatoes (Delta) grow, and that Grand Junction is “wine country” – and that Pueblo chilis are MUCH better than Hatch chilis!
  • You know that there are lots of wineries in Colorado, but not more than microbreweries.
  • When a lot of “regular” restaurants have Asian or Mexican food on their menus, even if they aren’t “ethnic.”
  • You remember the old menu at Casa Bonita – and miss it.

Neighborhoods & pronunciation

  • You don’t call it the Denver Metro Area, you call it the Front Range, and that “over there” is the Western Slope.
  • You know what – and where – LoDo, RiNo, LoHi, Five Points, and the DTC are.
  • You know that Denver’s Zuni and Hopi Streets are pronounced Zoon-eye and Hope-eye, and that it’s Poo-der (Poudre), Boona (or Byoonah) Vista (Buena Vista), Pee-eblo (Pueblo), Sah-watch (Saguache), & You-ray (Ouray).
  • You like the “tents” at the airport, but you think the red eyes of the blue “devil” horse (“Blucifer”) are creepy.
  • You know what, and where, the “Buckley Balls” are.
  • You know that you don’t have to follow a dress code – anywhere, at any time, or for any event.
  • You know who the Strong Arm is…and you miss Jake Jabs’ tiger cubs.

Fireworks, faith & football

  • You hope your local 4th of July fireworks show isn’t canceled due to weather – or a fire warning.
  • You know that the best fireworks can be bought in Wyoming.
  • You keep hoping that Colorado teams will win – and get some respect.
  • John and Peyton are still your heroes, and you can’t understand why anyone would like the Raiders!
  • Your other favorite sports’ stars were – or are: Amy, Chauncey, Mikaela, Nikola, Joe, Larry, Lindsey, Matt, Missy, TD, Mallory, Jamal, Byron, Karl, Randy, Carmelo, Goose, Bobby, Buddy, Arielle, Roy, Floyd, Nolan (“Nado”), David, Alex, Todd, Steve, Champ, Shannon, Nathan, Milan, Von, Peter, Patrick, Troy, Matt, Vinny, Dante, EY, Andres (“The Big Cat”), Charlie (“Chuck Nazty”) – and you LOVE Dave Logan.
  • You still call it “Mile High” and “Pepsi Center” – and you’ve sat in the Rockpile.

Schools & wildlife

  • You know what CU, UCD, UCCS, CC, CSU, UNC, Western, Mines, Metro, Mesa, Ft. Lewis, Adams State, Air Force Academy, Regis, CCU, CTU, RMCAD are, and you remember Jones International and Loretto Heights.
  • If you live in a house – even in a city – you have probably seen a bear, mountain lion, coyote, squirrel, owl, eagle, rabbit, deer, fox, etc., in the back yard, but you don’t like the introduction of wolves into Colorado.
  • You know that the State animal is the Rocky Mtn. Bighorn Sheep, but that prairie dogs own the State.
  • You know that – if you can see the mountains – you can watch “weather” coming over.
  • You know that if it is 70+ degrees on a lovely Spring day, snow is on the way.
  • You know that when it’s 40-degrees outside, some people will be wearing winter jackets/gloves/scarves/wool hats, while others will be walking around in short-sleeved shirts, shorts, and flipflops.
  • You expect snow on Halloween, and your kid’s costume fits over a coat.
  • You have discovered that hail is not a friend of your roof.
  • You know you don’t have to plan anything for out-of-town guests for 3 days, until they “acclimate.”
  • You know what Rocky Mountain Oysters are, and don’t really want to try them, but tell your “visitors” to do it.

Places you’ve probably been

  • The State Capitol (“the Gold Dome”), Rocky Mountain National Park/Trail Ridge Rd., Red Rocks (to hike or watch a show), Garden of the Gods, Colorado Springs (“The Springs”) – Pikes Peak/the Broadmoor/the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo/the Air Force Academy/the Olympic Center, Dinosaur Ridge, Dinosaur National Monument, the National Western Stock Show/Greeley Stampede/Colorado State Fair, Mesa Verde, Grand Mesa, Four Corners, Casa Bonita (Black Bart’s Cave), Boulder/CU, Buffalo Bill’s grave, Coors, Denver’s museums/Botanical Gardens, the Molly Brown House, any of the 58 “14-ers,” Fiddlers Green (“Fiddlers”), the Rockies/Broncos/Avalanche/Nuggets/Mammoth/Rapids, the Stanley Hotel (Suite 217)/Estes Park, Steamboat Springs (“Steamboat”), Crested Butte, Telluride, a mine, Glenwood Hot Springs (“Glenwood”)/Hanging Lake, Leadville, Grand Lake, the Great Sand Dunes, Black Canyon of the Gunnison, Vail/Aspen, Coors Brewery, Royal Gorge, Mt. Evans/Mt. Blue Sky Scenic Byway, the Castle Rock Outlets, Georgetown, Cave of the Winds, Palisade, the Silverton/Durango train ride, the Continental Divide… and more!

Historical & local knowledge

  • You know that Mother Cabrini stands on top of Lookout Mountain, and what the “spaceship house” and the “cash register” building are, and you love the Big Blue Bear.
  • You know about the Southern Utes and the Ute Mountain Utes, and some of Colorado’s famous people in history: Baby Doe, the Tabors, the Unsinkable Molly Brown, Kit Carson, Chief Ouray, Chin Lin Sou, Justina Ford, Spencer Penrose, Adolph Coors, Buffalo Bill, Doc Holliday, Bat Masterson, Alfred Packer, Zebulon Pike, Clara Brown, Katharine Lee Bates, William Bent (Bent’s Fort), Emily Griffith, and so many more…

And finally…

  • Two words: Mountains. Sunsets.

The list “compiler” is Dorothy Gotlieb. She served 16-years in elected public office, including the Colorado State Board of Education (member/chairman), the Denver Board of Education (member, president) and the Colorado House of Representatives (Majority Whip). She has had several careers, in: Corrections, Social Work, Health/Mental Health, Journalism, Education, Consulting, and State and School District administration.

Editor’s note: The views expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Rocky Mountain Voice. We proudly support her right to share them.