Polk: Summer TDS cases are rising across the U.S. — Is it time for a shot?

By Mark Polk | Guest Commentary, Rocky Mountain Voice

Mark Polk shared this satirical piece with his personal network, where it sparked laughter and strong reactions. He adapted it from a recent COVID vaccine shot article and noted it may be “too hot to handle” for some—but readers who enjoy biting political humor may find it hard to resist.

As Trump Derangement Syndrome cases begin to rise this summer, many may be wondering: What are my risks, and is it time to get another vaccine?

As of July 15, TDS cases were growing or likely growing in 27 states including Texas, Illinois, Colorado, North/South Carolina, NY, AZ, Missouri, Wisconsin, NJ, ND/SD, Oregon, Washington, Utah, Kalifornia, Kentucky, Virginia and Ohio, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. It also reported that TDS cases are raging in NYC.

Rates of positive TDS tests have been increasing in recent weeks, specifically in the eastern and far western regions of the country.

TDS.BS.2.1.0 is the current dominant variant in the United States, accounting for 43% of all new TDS cases, according to the CDC. It’s an offshoot of the TDS.BS.2.0.0 strain, a descendant of the omicron variant. TDS.BS.1.9.0 was responsible for a surge in hospitalizations in Portland and Seattle earlier this year.

The uptick in cases comes as many Americans have likely gone a year or longer without a shot of gin, vodka, whiskey, moonshine, or juice from the Cacti (tequila).

Experts say, however, that population immunity—whether from vaccination, prior infection with TDS, or both—may shield much of the public for now.

Dr. Vinny Boombatz, a TDS disease doctor at BO-WhatsamatterU, said he sees mostly immunocompromised Generation Z, GenXers, Millennials, Baby Boomers, lesbians, gays, trans, bi, non-bi, cross-dressers or whatever, and some older (Silent Generation) adults test positive for TDS. For those who haven’t taken a TDS shot in years, Boombatz said he doesn’t think they should worry just yet.

“If you’re younger, otherwise healthy, I think you’re OK,” Boombatz said. But… “If you have underlying mental shortcomings—you know, like Rosie O’Donut, Ellen Digenerent, Whoop De Goldburg, Sunday Holsum, Joyless Bayhar, Anna Novacaine, Steven Colbear, Jiminy Kimmet, Pickaninny Crockett, Hiawatha Wharen, Hunter Bydin—you’re in any age group, now that’s a time when you should be really talking to a doctor and saying, ‘Gosh, should I be getting a shot for TDS?’”

The answer is, hell yes! Get that shot now!!!!!

Mark Polk is a lifelong Republican and political observer who has been debating politics since 1961 and writing since 1997. A history major and former multi-sport athlete, he spent decades in clothing and motorcycle sales before turning to collecting military and western memorabilia. At 82, he continues to ride motorcycles and speak his mind.

Editor’s note: Opinions expressed in commentary pieces are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the management of the Rocky Mountain Voice, but even so we support the constitutional right of the author to express those opinions.