A Broken System: The fight to protect our children from our own family courts

By Heidi Ganahl | Rocky Mountain Voice

It’s a critical opportunity to show up in a BIG way for mothers and children, rallying around one of the most important issues of our time, the protection of our children from abuse.

One of my dear friends, Maralee McLean, is speaking about her daughter’s journey, her journey, and you won’t want to miss it. I met Maralee after I founded a non-profit called Moms Fight Back in 2013, to deal with the toughest issues we face as Moms, protecting our children from abuse, after my own daughter was sexually assaulted and treated horribly by our justice system.   Maralee sat with me over coffee and told her story, her shocking, incredibly painful story, that will bring you to tears.   She showed me hundreds of messages on her phone from other mothers around the country, around the world, dealing with the same pain and horrible injustice she was, for simply believing their children and fighting for them. 

Thirty years ago, Maralee embarked on a battle that no mother should ever have to fight. Her daughter, then just two years old, was being sexually abused by her father, Maralee’s abusive ex-husband, and despite overwhelming evidence—police reports, doctor’s records, and expert testimony—she was punished instead of protected. The more information that surfaced about the abuse, the more the court gave custody to the father.

Maralee was caught in a web of a broken system that continues to fail protective mothers today. 

McLean, like so many protective mothers, became a casualty of a family court system that too often dismisses the voices of children and their mothers. She fought in courtrooms, draining her finances and spirit, to regain custody of her daughter. But her fight didn’t end when her daughter came home years later. McLean turned her pain into advocacy, working tirelessly to reform a system that repeatedly fails to protect the most vulnerable among us: our children.

This nightmare is not unique to McLean. It’s happening to thousands of parents in every state across the U.S. and even internationally. Back in the 1990s, McLean teamed up with attorney Joan Pennington to stage a rally at the Colorado Capitol, hoping to draw attention to the injustices faced by mothers like her. Pennington, a true pioneer in advocating for protective parents, called it “the civil rights movement of the ’90s.” But the fight, they learned, wasn’t going to end with one rally or one piece of media coverage. It would take decades of persistence.

At the rally, Pennington famously declared, “We’re changing that list. This is now about the judges. Judge Michael Beida sentenced Maralee’s child to a lifetime of abuse.” It was a powerful moment of solidarity, with mothers from across the nation coming together, fists raised in defiance of a system that had failed them. The rally drew extensive media coverage, from full-page newspaper articles to television broadcasts, but systemic change remained elusive.

McLean’s case, like so many others, was marred by the courts’ reliance on the debunked theory of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). Introduced by Richard Gardner in the 1980s, PAS claimed that a parent—usually the mother—could manipulate a child into rejecting the other parent, often the father, even in cases where abuse was involved. Gardner himself was paid to testify in McLean’s case, famously stating that society needed to have “more pity for the pedophile than scorn.” His self-published theories, not recognized by any credible psychological body, nonetheless became a cornerstone of family court decisions, and mothers like Maralee were labeled “alienators” simply for trying to protect their children from abuse.

Thirty years later, the nightmare continues, as the courts prioritize reconciliation with abusive parents over the safety and well-being of children.

McLean’s fight for her daughter resonates deeply with mothers like Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins, who’s case is going viral right now as she is currently battling the system for her own children. Rachel’s ex-husband, a retired Aurora police sergeant, has been charged with sexually assaulting their children. Despite these charges, the courts have ordered *reunification therapy* for Rachel’s two youngest sons, forcing them into therapy designed to “repair” their relationship with the father who abused them. Rachel, desperate to protect her children, refused to comply and was sentenced to seven weekends in jail.

Reunification therapy, much like PAS, is a pseudoscientific tool used in high-conflict custody disputes. It forces children to spend time with a parent they fear—often due to abuse claims—while cutting off contact with the protective parent. Rachel’s sons, already dealing with severe PTSD from their father’s abuse, have suffered deeply from the court-ordered therapy, which has only intensified their trauma.

Rachel’s story isn’t unique. Families across the country are being torn apart by reunification programs.  One such case is that of Tori Nielsen, who, along with her brother, was forcibly taken from her mother in 2021 and driven to a four-day reunification camp in California. The children were isolated from their mother, told they could not speak about their fears or their past, and forced to participate in exercises designed to repair their relationship with their father. Tori, who was 16 at the time, recalled how the therapy “absolutely destroyed” her emotionally.

Reunification therapy, much like PAS, dismisses the legitimate fears and trauma of children in abusive situations. Instead of recognizing the abuse, the courts use these programs to force reconciliation, no matter the psychological toll on the child. In Tori’s case, she was forbidden from contacting her mother for nearly two years and lived with her father against her will. It was only after she turned 18 that she was able to return to her mother’s home.

In 2020, another Colorado mother found herself behind bars for daring to protect her children. This mother lost custody of her daughters after they reported being sexually abused by their father, and she dared to believe them. Despite a plethora of evidence and the girls’ testimony, the court did not accept the abuse claims. The mother, desperate and with no other recourse, turned to social media for support. She posted about her case on Facebook, asking her friends for help. 

Her post was quickly taken down after a court order to do so, but it was too late. The judge found her in contempt of court and sentenced her to six months in jail. While she lay sick with COVID-19 in a cold jail cell on Christmas night, isolated from her children, her daughters were placed permanently with their father—the very man they said had abused them. This mother hasn’t been with her children in the years since. Her parental rights were terminated, and the court silenced her with a gag order, ensuring that her story could not be shared.

Her crime? Believing her children and asking for help in the face of a system that refused to protect them. Her story is a chilling example of how the courts criminalize protective parents while allowing abusers to retain custody of their children.

This case, like so many others, raises urgent questions: Why are protective mothers being jailed for speaking out? Why are children’s testimonies of abuse being ignored? And why are the courts prioritizing the rights of abusive parents over the safety of children?

In 2021, Maralee, along with a small group of passionate women in the non-profit she leads, Moms Fight Back, achieved a significant victory in Colorado with the passing of Julie’s Law, named after her daughter. This law mandated increased and more specific domestic violence training for courtroom personnel, a step toward addressing the systemic failures that allowed her daughter’s abuse to continue unchecked for so long.  Maralee is committed to making sure that laws and policy start with the safety of the child, fully litigating domestic violence, addressing child abuse and sexual abuse, coercive control and trauma.

But even with Julie’s Law and other reforms like Ty’s Law—which was passed after 10-year-old Ty Tesoriero was murdered by his father following a custody dispute—McLean warns that the fight is far from over. “We’re going to have more kids murdered if you’re not going to look at the domestic violence,” McLean has said repeatedly, urging lawmakers to take more significant steps to fix the system.

“The more information that came out on the sexual abuse of my child, the more I was punished,” she said, reflecting on her own battle. And this punishment continues today for mothers like Rachel and others across the country.

These laws were a step in the right direction, but McLean warns that the courts are still failing to protect children. Too often, judges dismiss abuse allegations, relying on outdated and harmful practices like PAS and reunification therapy.

One of the most troubling aspects of these cases is the lack of accountability and transparency within the court system. Judges, who are often not trained in recognizing domestic violence or child abuse, make life-altering decisions with little oversight. As McLean has pointed out, even with new laws in place, judges are not following them. The protections that *Julie’s Law* and *Ty’s Law* were supposed to provide are being ignored, leaving children in the hands of their abusers.  

Colorado legislator Meg Froelich issued a stark warning to the Chief Justice of the Colorado Supreme court last week, saying “we implore you to use this moment as an opportunity to turn the page, break with the past, and usher in an era of Family Court reform that stops the daily tragedies that continue to unfold. Unfortunately, the case of Rachel Pikrel-Hawkins is not unique.  She is the second protective parent sent to jail in Larimer County this summer! We are calling upon you to take immediate action to address the crisis in Family Court. This is a public health and safety crisis that affects every Judicial District in Colorado. Too many Judges and Magistrates continue to place children in the custody of abusers, order Forced Reunification Therapy, ignore credible evidence of abuse, void protection orders, and in some cases, send protective parents to jail while abusers are unaccountable.”

She continues, “A series of laws have been enacted in Colorado to address this crisis. BUT JUDGES ARE NOT FOLLOWING THE LAW. We understand that you have within your power to take immediate action whether through a Supreme Court Directive, Judicial Disciplinary action or an emergency reconvening of the 1108 Taskforce, among other options. We call upon you to issue a response with all due speed in honor of the lives lost, the continuing trauma, and the injustices being perpetrated every day in Family Court.

I hope she listens. 

Maralee argues that more must be done. “We need more accountability,” she says. For years, she has advocated for increased transparency in the court system and comprehensive training for judges, guardians ad litem, and other court personnel. She insists that the “best interest of the child” standard, which often prioritizes maintaining relationships with both parents, must be replaced with a focus on the child’s safety and well-being, particularly in cases involving abuse.

“This is about social change and systematic failure within our court system,” McLean says, recognizing that it isn’t just individual cases, but a broad, systemic problem that continues to destroy families.

For McLean, Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins, and the many other protective mothers still fighting today, the road to justice is long and fraught with challenges. But with each new law passed and each story shared, there is hope that the system can change. The passage of the law honoring her daughter, *Julie’s Law*, and other legislative victories are critical steps forward, but they are not enough. Until the courts fully recognize the reality of domestic violence and child abuse, protective parents will continue to be criminalized for defending their children.

McLean’s victory with *Julie’s Law* was a significant milestone, but as she herself says, “The fight is far from over.” Until judges are held accountable, until courts prioritize the safety of children over the need to preserve relationships with abusive parents, the system will continue to fail. The truth is clear: protective mothers and their children deserve a system that believes and protects them, not one that silences and punishes them. Let’s show up tomorrow for Maralee, for Rachel, for the children.   Read more about Rachel’s story here, the horrible stories of four children murdered by their own parent’s here, the danger of professionals that buy into parental alienation theory here, and learn more on CNN about Maralee’s story here.

Editor’s note: Opinions expressed in commentary pieces are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the management of the Rocky Mountain Voice, but even so we support the constitutional right of the author to express those opinions.